i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i just google imaged poop.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
