if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
