Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
