where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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