Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
honey bunches of taint.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
