I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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