You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
