i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
