I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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