he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
3 2 1 whiskey
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
