great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
