if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
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He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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