I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
