I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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