We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
