considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize