so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
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