If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
