This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
