so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
