dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
