dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize