he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
