i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
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My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The feeling are messing with the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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