I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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