so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
