Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
