you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
