running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize