Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
