Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
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she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize