check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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