My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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