Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
