Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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