I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
