Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
