...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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