So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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