Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
