So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
