I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
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