I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.