You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock