He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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