hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
