it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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