Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize