Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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