Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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