Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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