wat bout pragnant strippers??
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
