Buhtt sex?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Are my feet made of real feet?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
