the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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