Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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