dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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