pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
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