WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
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What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
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Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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