Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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