yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
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